i love my best friend

ok so this is kinda random but ive told you that im a random kinda girl. im about to indulge on a 'best friend' post so if you cant handle unconditional love and joy and joyous and smiles and rainbows and such, you may want to skip this one.



my best friend is Patricia Idameser Coutts. (Patti to me) she is so amazing you would not believe. her favourite color is yellow, and she is the most creative, artistic genius in the world. (besides me of course ;D )
she's hilarious and SUCH a laugh, but when i need her to be, she's this inspiring, sweet, lifter of spirits.

shes witty and charming and my sister in Jesus, which makes our incredibly close friendship sealed with super glue and cement. and did i mention she's drop-dead gorgeous? like, yea. velvety chocolate eyes and super curly bouncy happy hair. and her complexion is like coffee with extra cream.

i love her so much and i honestly have no idea what i would do without here. in fact, ill give you an idea of how much i love her. she lives in Indonesia, and i stay up late, and get up early to talk to her when its HER daytime, because my daytime is her night.

IF THATS NOT LOVE I DONT KNOW WHAT IS.


love love love you Patti <3333333

-'sven'

p.s. this amazing bff of mine blogs over at yksnowkiwi.blogspot.com check it out! its rather stupendous ;)

What time is it? Summertime!

excuse the post title aka reference to HSM2. haha. it just seems fitting because im going to be writing about school! or rather, the lack of school in my life :3

today was the last day of grade 9 and i have succesfully survived my first year in high school! while its not exactly a cliche milestone, it is a milestone. i did it. i stuck it out and i can now say that i did it. i passed grade 9. yay :3

and while im sure everyone else in my school is going to go out and party, and hang out with their friends. im not. i walked to my second home (my grandparents house :D ) and on the way i stopped to pick a dandelion. and i wished on it that i would always be able to finish things i start. and that this would be an amazing summer. and then i came home and promptly started watching Arthur and Peppa Pig. not because my brothers were around. just because i wanted to.

so now im done my first year of high school. and im going to go dream about the summer stretched out ahead of me like an open road. until later m'darlings,



-aven

The cupcake

Ok lovelys, so yesterday I went to a BBQ with my mom and Isaac, and there was CUPCAKES. So me being a blogger before anything, could not eat it without first indulging in a 10 minute photo shoot of the darling thing ;) here you go....

Monday

hey bubbletarts :3

today is turning out wonderful, even though i had a math exam this morning. it was my last exam and after a final assembly on thursday, im free as a bird ;3

once i finished i went to work with my dad for a few hours and then came back to my grandparents where me and isaac, (the littlest billy goat), watched Tangled, Megamind, and then How to Train your Dragon.

now, im texting my bestest friend, Patti, (yksnowkiwi.blogspot.com) and she's also showing me her new puppys :3 a miniature poodle named Esa, and a Shitzu named Tartan. they are SO cute. only sad thing is, her bunny died today :C poor Thumper. (also otar, peter eats grass alot so maybe they're just eating something poisonous to them?) anyways, her sister, alex's bunny is the only one left. little Castor.

anyways, now i have no plans except continued texting, blogging, and then later at home, tea and a movie :3 its so lovely when school is out, dont you think?

anyways dearies, i am being summoned by my familia because apparently we're leaving :C sorry, but i promise to write again soon. especially since schools out! :D

kay cupcakes i really must take leave,

give love,
drink tea,
pet a puppy <3

love love love

-le one and only me

p.s. patti is awesome ;)

defining quote of the day for me;


“No, I will not stop! For every minute for the rest of my life, I will fight. And I will never stop fighting until I get away from you!” 

sunday

Starting time~8:58 PM

Mood~ happy, sad, annoyed,

Outside my window~ a quiet road on sunday evening

I'm thinking~ i wish i was 19

I'm currently reading~one of my moms old Sweet Valley High books :3 and the bible

I'm listening to~ Miley Cyrus: Cant be Tamed

I'm wearing~ my light blue striped adidas tank top, my black yoga capris

I'm looking forward to~visiting Patti in Indonesia :3

I'm hoping~ I get a phone and puppy...soon!

Yesterday I~ went out with my mom for most of the day :3

I'm hungry for~ nothing. just had pasghetti :)

The song stuck inside my head is~ Who Owns My Heart by Miley Cyrus

I love~ my best frands :3

I loathe~ breakouts, that i cant run/bike ride :C

This week, my goal is~ survive the end of grade 9

Did I meet last week's goal?~no. my knees got really sore so now i cant run/bike without excruciating pain

Ending time~ 9:05 pm

at the park a few days ago....

ok so sometimes little brothers can be......noisy. and fussy. and very boy-ish. but they have their moments. like when Isaac asked for an 'Undertuck' on the swing. and wanted me to play 'hide and sneak' with him. and when me and my mommy were sitting on the bench, and looked over to see him pushing Diasha on a swing. (Diasha is his imaginary friend that is a girl. she has long black hair (long like in tangled) and blue eyes. also, she is 5.) then there's when we were playing hide and sneak, and he finds me immediatly. i accused him playfully of peeking and the look of horror on his face was PRICELESS. i love how to a 4 year old little boy, being accused of peeking is like being accused of murder. socute. 

so heres to family and little brothers, and the way they make us smile. 

-aven

Sometimes it's hard

Sometimes it's hard to be happy. I really want to be, but sometimes I need to remind myself every second, 'you ARE happy. Your problems aren't as big as you think they are.'

Sometimes I just need to constantly drill the fact that I'm happy into my brain. I need to remind myself of all the good things I have. A constant chanting to myself throughout the day. 'you are happy, you are happy.' even on the days when I desperately want to be unhappy, I can't let myself. I can't afford to break down and not be happy. Because I know that my problems are so small in the world.

Sometimes it feels like I can't talk to the people I want to about my problems. I can't talk to this friend about guy problems because she's on cloud number 9 in guy-world. I don't want to go whining about my problems to people because they're either overly optimistic, or they jump in with their problems and being me, i end up trying to make them feel better.

Sometimes I just want someone to be that way for ME. I want someone who'll make me feel better whenever I talk to them.

Sometimes in wishing that, I forget there IS someone like that. Someone that I can talk to any time, 3 in the afternoon or 4 in the morning. Someone that loves me and cares about me so much that he died for me. And he'll never leave me. And he'll always care about me. And his name is Jesus.

Sometimes I still worry though. I worry about being too, and this is going to sound weird, but too NICE. If I can look at what the world would consider my competition, and feel compassion. And feel empathy, and feel sad for them, what does that make me?

I know what the bible says. We're to pray for those who persecute us. We're to show his love to the world. But sometimes, the longing to BElong. To fit in with the world, sometimes that desire is so tempting. Sometimes I want to dislike people because 'they did this to me' or 'they did that to this person' sometimes there's an overwhelming urge to dislike them because of what they did to me. Or not even what they did to me, but if they play a roll in something causing me pain, causing me sadness. Sometimes I get so frustrated with struggling to like them.

So imagine if I did what I was supposed to do, and I LOVED them? Imagine what would happen. How many lives would I impact? One person, loving those the world says she should hate. How would it impact those people?

Sometimes we don't think about the people we choose to dislike. But what if we did? What if I looked at the person I want to dislike, and instead of seeing them on the outside, saw them on the inside. 'man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart.'

Well what if we asked him to show us peoples hearts? Who knows what we would find? Chances are, we would be shocked. What if that person at school, or work, the really nasty one that has hurt you, or spread a rumor around about you, what if we could see their hearts? Because if I look at the people I want to dislike, if I truly take a minute to look past their outward appearance, you know what I see?

I don't see perfect clothes and makeup . I don't see cell phones and brand-name shoes. I don't see a smiling, popular, person. I see pain. I see sorrow. I see the need to have attention because inside, they're empty. They have everything you could ever want, but they're missing the one thing that holds me together. The one thing that gives me peace and love. They're missing Jesus. And it makes me so sad.

It makes me think about all the people I judge. All the people I feel have wronged me. Because even if they have, I've no right to dismiss them. No right to think of them as anything other than a soul. A soul! All these people we see every day, they have SOULS. And I know I don't think about that. I'm so busy thinking about the problems they cause me, that I don't think about the struggle they deal with every day.

I, as a Christian, am a sheep. I have a shepherd, and I know he loves me and I trust him with all of my heart. Because I know he leads me beside the still waters. I know he will lead me to abundant fields. But think of it this way. Everyone without my shepherd, is a lost sheep. They're cold. They're hungry. They're weary. And every day, two people are after them. The shepherd stands in front of them. Holding out his arms, calling them to him. But have you heard this song? "if we are the body". Jesus wants those sheep. He created them just as he did us. But he needs our help. He needs us to join together and be the bridge across the raging river. Those lost sheep can't make it across. They're frightened and alone, and they don't know who to trust. But if we, the ones they persecute, if we show them love, wouldn't that be such a testimony to them? Wouldn't they think 'wow. If I, the one who's hurt this person, can be loved and cared about by the same person I've harmed, what do they have that I don't? What enables them to love me after what I've done to them?'

Don't you think they'd come? Don't you think they'd allow us to bridge them to the bounty of care we have? To bridge them to our shepherd?

Because the wolf is also lurking in the shadows. He wants these lost sheep. They're alone and have no shepherd, and he will devour them if we don't help them first.

So guess what? I'm hurt. I've been hurt by people. And I will continue to be hurt by them. But they can't REALLY hurt me, because of my shepherd. They may throw stones, but they can't kill me.

Sometimes it's hard, but you know what I want to be more than anything? On this earth, I WANT to be different. I want to stand out. I want to show such incredible love and acceptance to people that hurt me, that they and everyone who sees will think 'wow. If she can do that, she's different. She's got something I don't.' because that's what we're called to do! We're called to be a city on a hill.

'In this world you will have tribulations, but FEAR NOT, I have OVERCOME the world'

I will have problems, I will struggle, but I will not face anything I cannot handle. If God knows I can handle my best friend, my ANCHOR in this world, if he knows I can handle her moving across the world, then I can. If he decides the person I like will be involved with someone else right now, I can handle it.

I just want to love. I want to be so different that people on the street walking past me, see that I'm different. I want to stop judging and start seeing hearts. I want to be an extraordinary young woman who grows into an extraordinary woman. I want to make Jesus smile in everything I do, all day, every day.

I want to be a blazing lantern in this world of darkness. Will you join me? Take a moment and think of what we would do together. Imagine if we did what we're supposed to do. Imagine if we just loved with no reserve, together! How much lighter can we make the world? How many more sheep can we join together to save?

I need to change. I am not perfect. I never will be. But I want to live for him and only him. I want to stop thinking about my problems, and let him lead me. I want to stop worrying and just trust. And love, and be kind and compassionate. Because that's how i want others to treat me.



-aven

Dear Boy, (a poem by me)

Monday, June 11, 2012

Dear Boy,

I don't know what happened, no, don't really understand
What it was that we had, you never took me by the hand,
Never called me your own, never seemed overly keen,
But the way that we would act, boy, your actions seemed to scream

I don't know what happened, not sure that I ever will,
All I did was be your friend, but I guess you'd had your fill,
'cuz the next thing I know, boy, you're standing over there,
Making out with the girl with the bleach-blonde hair

I know that she don't like me, but I'm not really sure why,
We used to talk all the time, now I'm lucky to get 'hi'
Must've said something convincing, must to you mean so much more,
Than our sorry little friendship you're now throwing out the door

Now I wonder will you miss me? When it ends? We know it will.
Will you act like nothing happened, brush it off with expert skill?
And what's more what will I do? Let it slide? Just let it go?
Would forgiving and forgetting let my self-worth slip too low?

All these questions and no answers, cause you ain't around these days,
But all I really want to know is that we're goona be okay,
Cuz as much as you have hurt me, I know deep inside my heart,
I'd do anything to have you back, I hate being apart.

Sincerely,

The girl from last summer

Happy things :3 part 2

^ i did this dream jar :3























































gotta go for now sweet peas :3 have a lovely day!

-aven

Letters to various people and things.

Dear Boy,

I liked you, you liked me, I didn't do anything about it, you met her, I still like you, you're with her, I'm sad.

-the girl from last summer.


Dear Heart,

You've been hurting a lot lately, huh? Sorry about that. I'm trying to fix you. It's just not that easy most of the time. But I promise you'll feel better someday.

-your human

Dear tummy,

You've been hurting ME a lot lately. Heart and I know it hurts to see the boy, but your clenching and twisting makes me even more nervous. Let's maybe try some deep breathing together? Sounds good.

-the one who feels you


Dear best friend,

I miss you. Eyes and I have been sad together a lot since you left. Can't wait to see you again. Also, college is going to be a BLAST.

-Sven (your other half).


Dear me,

Stop worrying so much and pray some more. Also, find the bible verse that states that more eloquently than you. And good job abandoning Tumblr until school is out. That was a smart choice. Glad you're sticking with it. Oh, you should probably talk to dad about doing that filing too. And find the bible reading project. Because for crying out loud, you're not going to get to Jakarta or New Zealand for free. Nor are you going to get the new awesome Kardashian nail polish from Walmart . Man up woman and start working. And don't forget to go running this week. And get to Marks and get a sundress for the sunday school picnic. And OWN it. Forget what anyone thinks about you and just relax a little. Live a little. For crying out loud you're going to drive yourself crazy with all your worrying and over-analyzing. Chill.

-your smarter more sensible side

*Cough* another happy-type post :3 part 1

ahem. excuse my happy-picture-type posts lately :P ive been feeling rather joyous lately. dont ask why cuz i dont know. just... enjoy the sunshine-y posts while they last ;P



















be right back y'all :3

The Post of Happy {to start the week off right}

Le kitty drinking le glass of milk. (dare you not to say 'aww')






























im so sad because i love heels but
a. my wide feet scarcley fit into ANY
and
b. they kill my feet. like, KILL.



and i leave you with this;



love y'all. ill blog soon.


give love,
feed hope,
eat a cupcake <3


-me

(all pics via weheartit )